How can I do this alone?

Being a single parent is hard. All of the responsibility of raising this tiny human that looks exactly like you, with no one to turn to and say "Do you know what your child just said" is a tough pill to swallow. I've really been a single parent since I became a parent all together, but fervently since she was two. If it wasn't for my mother's help, we (Bella and I) would be who knows where, but that's enough for a different post in itself. 

The question I think every single parent asks themselves is "How do I do this all by myself." I mean raising a child with a companion is hard enough, but to do it alone... It has got to be impossible, right? The truth? The truth is, you don't have to do it alone, unless you WANT to do it alone. The truth is, there is someone who is begging to help lighten your load, I'll get to that in a moment.

For the last two months, I've been injured with a torn ACL and meniscus. I didn't even know I had a meniscus until they told me that mine was all messed up. I have been on crutches, in a big, black, itchy, knee stabilizer, and have been unable to do anything for myself for the most part, much less take care of Bella. (This is when my mom comes in, riding her big white horse to save the day.) I have had pity party after pity party. I've cried, screamed, stayed in bed all day, asking God how I was supposed to take care of this baby by myself, when I can't even take care of myself. What he filled my heart with hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized I was doing alone by choice. I'm not talking about my choice to not be with her biological father, I'm talking about my choice of not letting her Heavenly Father step in. I picked up my bible for the first time in months, and there it was, in black and white, "Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28. It was like He was sitting in front of me saying "HEY BROOKE!!! LET ME HELP!" 

Giving all of your troubles to him is hard. I've put my cares in him so many times, to wake up the next morning and still be worrying about them. I've spent night after night worrying about court, money, bills, and if I'm going to be able to work the rest of this year... The night that I read Matthew 11:28 it was like an elephant decided to get off of my chest and I could breathe again. 

God WANTS so desperately to help you. The whole reason for His Son's time on this Earth was to help you! All you have to do to get his help is simply ASK! You can't ask and then keep worrying though, that's not how this works, believe me. You have to whole-heartedly give him all of your worries and cares. He promises in Isaiah 40:31 that whoever trusts Him will find their strength renewed. He means it. If you just allow him to take on all of it, the bill that can't be paid, the job you don't know if you'll get, the dance class that your baby wants to take but you can't afford, the car smoking on your way to work, the torn ACL and meniscus, He will take care of YOU because HE LOVES YOU! 

When you're up at night (and I know ever single mom and dad do it), staring at your baby, worried and wondering how you can do it for one more minute alone, all you have to do is ask Him for His help. You don't have to do it alone. You don't have to worry. You don't have to take on this whole world by yourself. He will take it on with you. He WANTS to take it on FOR you, YOU just have to LET him.

XoXo,

The SINGLE Southern Mama! 

Dating in 2016.. is that even possible?

So as we all know... I'm single. Hence the title of my blog. It's not that I like being single.. Don't get me wrong, I'm one of the most independent women you will ever meet, but I would like to meet that special someone, fall in love, get married, and all that fairytale, happily ever after stuff. But to do that, you have to date! Dating is HARD these days, especially when you're a mom. Especially when you're a single mom. Lately I've seen so many posts on social media bashing men in our generation because they don't respect women. Now I've been on date after date where the fellow thinks that it is totally appropriate to expect to sleep with me after dinner. That's not ok, and it's not gonna happen. I've also tried the "online dating" route (per my friend's and mother's advice) and 9 times out of 10 the conversations lead to "dirty talk" in the first week or two which isn't ok, especially if I don't even know if you're a real person. (Don't get me wrong, I've been guilty of everything I'm about to say, one way or another, so this is from experience.) Now here's the thing, while all of these things are not ok to expect from a self respecting young lady, or any lady for that matter, women seem to blame all of their dating troubles on the men. Wrong. Ladies, you are only going to receive the respect that you demand, nothing more and nothing less. If you start dating a guy, and you immediately sleep with him, he's already gotten the ultimate goal, so why should he respect you or your body? Kinda like, why do you wanna buy the cow if you get the milk for free? If you allow a guy to come over for Netflix and Chill, why would he waste his money on taking you out for a nice dinner? If you put yourself out there as a girl that is easy, you will not attract men that have the goal to be a husband, you will attract a man child who's goal is to sleep with hot girls and get drunk every weekend. Like I said, you are only going to receive the respect that you require a man to give you. Do not bash men if you aren't putting yourself out there as a self respecting woman, with morals and goals. Let him chase you baby girl, don't give it up so easily.

Now for the guys out there:: if you only want one thing, let her know. Don't put on a front claiming that you want a long term serious relationship if all you're wanting is a casual relationship. If you do in fact want to settle down, let her know that up front, but also back it up with your behavior. Think how your father or grandfather cared for your mother or grandmother and treat your lady like they would've. Chivalry isn't dead, but it's a hard thing to find these day. A lot of us could care less about the money spent, we want the time spent. We want to feel safe, wanted, and loved, not lusted after. Now if you're a good guy, that has given all of the good things, but feel like "good guys finish last," don't give up, she's out there, and when you find her, she'll respect you more since she's been treated poorly by everyone else, and she'll realize how good she has it now! Just hold on.

Who's this girl??

Hey yall! Welcome to my blog!!! I'm Brooke. I'm 26 years old, I love Jesus, Sweet Tea, Coffee, Miranda Lambert, my family, goats, and Sundrop. I'm a single mama to Izzabella "Bella" Faye, the most beautiful little girl you've ever seen. We live in a "little big town" right on the NC-SC line. My mama and daddy were married for 18 years before my Daddy passed away when I was a junior in high school. They taught me what a real Godly marriage is, and I won't settle for less than that. I got pregnant with my sweet girl at 19 and wouldn't trade her for the world. Doing it alone is tough at times, but let me tell you, being her mama is the best thing I have ever done! I spend most of my time with her, but when I have a little "mommy time" I go down to my paw paw's farm with my brother and shoot my guns, go to a good ole bonfire, drive around in my truck with the music up and the windows down. Yep, I'm just your normal southern belle :)).

Here's a little back story so that you know who I'm talking about, when I talk about them..

 I don't have a serious boyfriend, and don't want one until The Lord is ready for me to meet Mr. Right. My Mama is my best friend, and I am super close with my family! My brother Mike and his wife Brandi live in town and we spend time together as much as possible. My sister Carmen lives in Maryland with her husband Daniel and my niece Lola. They try come home once or twice a year. My cousin Kelly and her husband Josh live a few towns over with my sweet nephew Cohen. My Aunt, Uncle, and Grandparents also live close, and they spend tons of time with Bella, so really, I've never been raising her alone, because I have my amazing family's help!

 I have three best friends. 

Calie Lashay:: we met at orientation for 3rd grade and we've been attached at the hip ever since. We have laughed, cried, fought, and after almost 20 years we are more like sisters than friends. She's married to a great guy, and has given me two of the most precious Godson's (Jay and ColbyJack) I could ever ask for! She's a homemaker and a photographer, and I'm sure I'll be posting some of her work!

Heather:: We met when I was six at our church. We didn't get super duper close until we were in our teens, but after that we were double trouble. She has a sweet little boy, who I refer to as Chunk. She is getting married in October, and has asked me to be her Maid of Honor (eeekkkk). So alot of my year so far has been spent helping her plan the perfect wedding.

Amber:: we've known each other for most of our lives. Our families grew up together and so did we. We've both been through so much in life so we get each other completely. She has a beautiful 6 year old little girl named Kinley who is Bella's best friend. Amber keeps me grounded, and helps me keep my faith in the Lord strong.

Hopefully in the next couple of months I'll be building my dream home on a couple of acres of land. I've always wanted a farm, and I know that it probably won't be a working farm, but I definitely want some farm animals... Maybe a cow, some chickens, and most definitely a goat!!  

Since Heather asked me to be her MOH, I decided to lose some weight. So far I've lost 22 pounds. I'll definitely be keeping the blog up to date on my progress, some good recipes, my favorite workouts, and all of that good stuff! 

I hope yall enjoy my blog as much as I enjoy writing it! Feel free to follow and comment anytime! Also follow me on Instagram  @TheSingleSouthernMama  & Twitter @SnglSthrnMama

Thanks Yall! <3